we enter this world naked; we leave this world naked.
(Source: gardenofthefareast, via lucifelle)
Jim Noir - The Only Way
someone help me tab this dammit, I need to learn this on guitar!
(via lucifelle)
(via lucifelle)
(Source: lucifelle, via lucifelle)
you are the gift I never opened.
just another battle;
I was in lust, not love. I told you at the park, “I was selfish all through the relationship,” and I mean that says it all. Can you be in love, and still be so selfish? No, there is not a chance in the world. In our past I was selfish: I acted on my feelings of jealousy, my sexual impulses, and just in general I acted on my emotions; all without taking you into consideration. If I had for once put you in perspective, and put you before me, would I not see the absurdity in my actions? The answer is yes, of course I would; this is why I claimed so many times “my love for you came after our relationship ended, not while we were in it.” So many times I told you I would change, and so many times I failed because I consistently, fluidly, thought about my own wants. You were nothing more than means to satisfy my wants…realizing this was where my true remorse comes from. To think I made you think I loved you, when honestly I was abusing you…If there is a place for hate, this is the most suitable place for it. Maybe I was in love with you, but it was so fickled with lust that it was near impossible to see; hence the multiple times you said “how can you treat me this way when you say you love me?” It was there, I do believe, but it was weak. When you broke up with me I reflected of course, as my way of copping; again a selfish desire. Ironically, however, through this reflection I realized the true nature of my actions and immediately broke down. In disgust I frantically search for change, and eventually I obtained this change by reworking my mind and founding my spirit.
I believe today that Satans prime way of reaching you is through loved ones, and that is what occurred between us. Though I played a huge role in our demise, its unacceptable to say you had nothing to do with it as well. Like I sad before, even you did not take certain actions you could have. We developed our relationship grotesquely, and gave way for jealousy, lust, mistrust, and all those demons which tear love apart; they successfully tore us apart. This is why I believe I loved you then, just weakly. Not only did I not know how true relationships worked, I didn’t understand love. I replaced love with lust; two words used interchangeably in society today. This is exactly what Satan wants, follow society. I did so, you did so, we did so - we also faced the consequences for doing so. This is also why I never want to see you as a ex, because thats what society would love for me to do, thats would Satan would love for me to do. To hold the resentment, grief, and other tensions and call them EX. No, i wanted to rid myself of forgiveness, of the grief, of the tensions which restrained me from standing by you again. How did I do so? It may seem absurd to say so, but God allowed me to do so. Is it no coincidence that once my faith culminated you texted me and asked to meet, and out of this meeting did we not say goodbye to the past and form a new relationship? I don’t believe so…I believe at that point Satan was not able to re-stain us any longer.
